Hello, and welcome to P.A.L.S.
If you don’t know what P.A.L.S. is, shame on you. But, oh well. Eventually, we will get over it. For now, we will just explain what P.A.L.S. is.
Dictionary entry for P.A.L.S.:::
P.A.L.S.: (pah-alls.), noun. Partially Active Llama Society, a special society dedicated to the lives of llamas, and bettering them. If you don’t belong, join.
OBVIOUSLY, PALS is very important in today’s society. It really is a shame that no one knows about them, except for an elite few at a certain middle school in Arkansas.
PALS is run by:::
Robert C. Buttons: Slightly eccentric CEO, who, during hot weather, tends to spontaneously combust. Robert C. Buttons looks remarkably like Pete Brooks, who tends to parade around school talking about PALS. I (Hillary.) really love Pete, and at this moment, if he was here, would attack him with hugs. Robert C. Buttons’ Email:::: robertcbuttons@palsllamas.com
Emilio Padlock: Janitor. A lifesaver, seeing as last year, when the entire PALS headquarters went up into flames, he was there to put it out with only 1 bottle of Febreze. Yay for Emilio. Emilio Padlock’s Email::: janitor@palsllama.com
Anne P. First: The monkey in training. Anne P. First is very mysterious, seeing as the only thing we know about Anne P. First.. is that she is indeed a monkey.. and that she is in training.. which makes her a monkey-in-training. Anne P. First’s email:::: themonkey@palsllamas.com
PALS is here to help the llamas. We helped get Tina (from Napoleon Dynamite) her job as Leading Llama. Before PALS, Tina was a sad, sad little llama. Like this llama, here.  Notice the llama is sitting, like it is tired. The llama is tired of it’s current living conditions. It is also looking off into the horizon. The llama is most likely saying “Hmm. I wish there was an organization, called.. Partially Active Llamas Society.. or something.. because I would like to get up off my furry booty and become ALL THE WAY ACTIVE. Unfortunately, there is no such society, therefore, I will remain on my furry booty, looking to the horizon.”
BUT, NEVER FEAR, LLAMA! That organization does NOW exist!
This poor llama was helped by PALS. This is the llama before PALS:
He was stolen by a crazy Mexican food inspector, who had a llama-in-ugly-scratchy-blanket fetish. PALS swooped in to the rescue, and now, we have a happy, healthy llama! 
See, he has even grown out his hair! He is now attractive to the other llamas.
If you would like to read Llamas Weekly, go to www.palsllamas.com It will tell you EVERYTHING else you need to know about llamas.
ALSO, if you would like to order an official PALS video, there is a form for ordering on the site. ****($637,918.73 extra for out of Earth orders.)
GOOD THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ABOUT LLAMAS WEEKLY!
It is extraordinary, fascinating, exciting, to read and it is very deep and intellectual on llamas." - Matt Lee
"I absolutely love Llamas Weekly and I would love to see more issues of it out! I also think Llamas Weekly should have , a like prize or somethin' like that you know!" - Rachel Hunter
"I like it." - Kyle Elmore
"It is very exceptional, but you need to teach the janitor some better grammer. She don't not uses too many double negatives." - Kelsy Ferguson
"I don't know. There's nothing wrong with it. It's original." - Sherry Yuan
"I like it 'cause it's like putting llamas into the real world." - Kambrea Nelson
"I like it very much. It should be Llamas Daily." - Nick Fry
"I love Llamas Weekly. I've been a reader ever since it began and I've collected every issue so far." - Gabe Trumbo
"I llamas are the cause of all mold and the cause of global warming. They should be respected because they hold the key to the kingdom." Skyler Gambert
"The what? [laughs] No, I didnt hear you. How do I feel about llamas? Is he actually
writing down what Im saying?" Teron Cornelius
"Brooks thinks many things. Im quoting about Llamas Weekly, right? If Llamas Weekly
was a flavor, it would be llamaberry." Brooks Dawson
"Can I quote again? Llamas Weekly is sooooo much better than Bill OReilly that he should quit Fox News and and and and admit that he stinks and admit to commiting slander." Joe Bell
"I feel great. Llamas? I love llamas!" Bobby Nefzgur
"I want a purple house and a pink shirt." Jordan Heath
"It's okay." Meris Gunderson
"I dont know. I havent read it." Hannah Coakley
"I want to put in a quote. No. [He begins to cry] I love llamas and I hope that I mean that- I think that- at least a little bit of llamas or- of the llamas love me too." Gabe Trumbo
"Its awesome. If only everything was in pink." Hillary Benton (I’m on the website!! *does a dance*…Pete, you get a hug. *HUG*)
"Its beyond words." Mr. Petrone
[No Response] - Yibo Jia
"Whats that? What do you mean? What is it?" Matt Davidson
"It was wonderful." Charles Denny
"I want a pink house and a yellow car with purple shoes. Thats all." Will Rosteck
"I don't know what to quote about." - Ben Caffery
" What? What was the question? Llamas Weekly is reall really cool." - Jordan Mollesso
"The picture was very nice. The title was very catchy. Yes." - Mr. Rainer
"The best informational newspaper I have ever read." - Mrs. Seward
"I don't think I've been PALled yet today!" - Mrs. Huneycutt
So, OBVIOUSLY, PALS is good.
So join.
Also, join our PALS blogring. Please. That would rock..
(this xanga made purtiful AND ALSO WRITTEN by Hillary. Who rocks. And would give Pete a huge hug right now. If only he were here.
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